Quit

So my father won't let me try and switch out of the university courses I'm going into.
"Uh, Helllllllooo? I'm eighteen, I can make my own decisions about my own life. Kthx."
I want him to get out of my life, and quit telling me what to do.

I'm quitting smoking until graduation. That's 63 more days on top of the 30 I've already done. I think I can do it. Way to be healthy.

:$

I actually wrote something today, for the first time in about three or four months. I kinda like it, so I might as well post it since I have nothing else to really say.

"I hear the wind and the rain
Howling outside of these four feeble walls,
Threatening to knock it down,
To tear it apart at any given time.
Though these walls are young,
they've been through a lot
of wear and tear and misery.
But these walls won't break,
They can be built up
Just as easily as they were brought down.
These walls will fight,
These walls will be strong,
These walls have something to protect,
Something to stand tall for.
Because these walls hold a heart,
And this heart holds undying love,
Which give [her] the strength
To carry on."

I think he's my inspiration, in a way. Finally.

Fuuuuu

I'm sitting in the school computer lab, tweeting my boyfran and texting/tweeting my twin. I might make a tumblr and link it to my blog, just cause. I have nothing else really to say, I hate my third spare.

Kiss me

Thanks to Twitter and Vannessa, I've found my new infatuation.

www.fuckyeahkissing.tumblr.com (it won't let me put the stupid link in.)

Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases. ~Chinese Proverb

This Isn't Even Worth Reading

It's gotten to that point of night where my skin feels like it's crawling and I crave some form of food that is impossible to find, since I have no idea what it is I'm craving. My dad doesn't like the word crave because then he thinks that I'm pregnant.

I'm currently watching the Grudge, on mute. I have Slayer playing in the background. I'm quite boring.

I started writing this about half an hour ago, but I keep getting distracted. Then John signed online.

Harmony to my Heartbeat

Well, I promised an update. I'm currently avoiding replying to any of my texts. I'm not in the mood to talk to someone right now. My head hurts like crazy, but I cannot sleep. I don't want to take my sleeping meds tonight, since they told me to space it out so I don't become "addicted".

I finally got internet back at my father's house. Unfortunately it isn't any faster, but will be alright for updating and facebook for the weekends I won't be with wireless in Windsor. I really really want my new laptop, like right now. I'm super anxious. I want to have my music collection all in one place, I want my games back, and I want to continue a few projects I dropped with the death of the old laptop.

I love having a personality that can get along with anyone, and pick up conversations of nothing right away.

I've been counting down the days till graduation, like the faggot I am. 81 days and counting. The only reason I count down is because I want to leave this little town and all of it's silence. I love the people here (school) but I hate my house and "home" living. All anyone does is scream and get angry at nothing. Just like mom's house. I can't wait for something of my own, where the only screaming will either be at the tv or a game.

I've realized the only time I am ever worry free is when I'm with John. My headaches disappear completely, and I am relaxed. This indeed is a miracle, because I've never felt this way in such a long time. With him, I am constantly happy, and when he's holding me I feel like I'm on cloud nine. I sound so cliche or cheesy, but what "they" say about love is true. I guess I'm still afraid, but I wouldn't want this to be with anyone else but him.

I want my birthday present from Vannessa.

I've been on a "Tegan & Sara, Dragonette, and Electronica mixes" downloading spree. I happen to like my change in taste of music.